THE HUSBAND I KNEW

I want to tell you about the husband I knew. I saw him as he really was. Not the imaginary man I had in my mind when we first married. But the real man that the rest of the world saw. That’s who he was. What you saw was what you got. He wasn’t one type of person in public and another type in private. He was always the same no matter what. He never put on airs or tried to impress people.

He just lived his life one day at a time and was content in everything he did. He found much pleasure in the little things of life. He loved animals and loved every little nuance about them. He loved reading and watching t.v. He loved fishing. Those were his passions. Not striving to make it big or get attention from the world - but just enjoying the little things in life.

In some ways he was a very simple man. No ambition or drive because he was content in whatever he did. Being simple did not mean he was less of a man, in fact it made him more of a man. It was the simple things that he enjoyed.

Val loved Jesus with all his heart. For a man that had a hard time showing emotions, he just let his emotions flow when it came to things of God. He loved listening and singing praise songs and would jack up his car radio and sing along with his tapes in worshipping God. He said that many times, God had to drive his car home as he was so enwrapped in singing praises and crying. His tears were not tears of weakness but tears of the great love he had for Jesus.

He took pride in his jobs. He had a terrific work ethic and was an example to many others because of it. I know my son-in-law and nephew have both commented on that and what it meant to them to have his example. He gave himself fully to any employer and was a very faithful worker. He took pleasure in every aspect of his work. He took pleasure in the men he worked with and they became a very big part of his life.

He was the greatest husband. He loved me regardless of what I did or didn’t do. He was totally faithful to me at all times. He was a good provider and companion. He was intelligent and quite humourous as well. He had a good head on his shoulders and would lead and guide me when I would go off on an emotional tangent. He was so very thoughtful and always doing things for me and bringing me little gifts like a chocolate bar or a drink or whatever. It’s those little things he did that I miss the most. He would tell me that by doing those things, it was his way of telling/showing me he loved me.

He let me do what I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it and never complained about it. If I sat and crafted all day and didn’t make supper - he never complained but just got his own meal when he got in. If I didn’t clean house, he didn’t complain. He never beat me or treated me cruelly. He took interest in all my crafts and seemed to be proud of me for them. He would show or tell others about them and encourage me to explore endless ideas. He never complained about the money I would spend on these things. He got joy out of my joy in doing these things. You couldn’t ask for a better husband.

He was the greatest father and loved his girls very deeply. He was interested in every little detail of their lives. He didn’t try to play the "macho man" role around them but was ‘himself’ with them. He played with them, read them stories, and was a great example of our Heavenly Father to them. Money was never an object when it came to his girls. I could spend a fortune on them and it was always o.k. with him. He would do all he could for them as well. Hundreds of times he would drive them here or there just because they would ask. He could never say no to them.

At one time, when my youngest daughter Angela was delivering newspapers, Val used to get up with her and help her fold the newspapers. Then when she left to deliver them, he would make a thermos full of hot chocolate and then go meet her while she was delivering them and they would sit and have hot chocolate and she could warm up. (It was winter and very cold out)

When he worked a shift from 4-12, he would get up early so that he could spend time with the girls before they went to school as he wouldn’t see them later in the day. That was the kind of thoughtful father he was to his children. They meant to world to him and him to them.

Val was a great son-in-law and brother-in-law to everyone in my family. My parents really loved him and became very close to him. He was like the son they never had. He was the first son-in-law and that made him extra special because he was with them the longest. Whenever my dad or any of my brothers-in-law needed any kind of help - he was always there to lend a helping hand. When my sisters needed rides somewhere - he would be willing to drive them or pick them up. They really looked up to him. He loved each member of my family like they were his family.

When we first got married my dad was so proud of having him as his son-in-law. He would talk about him all the time to my mom and the guys at work. They did many things together and I think dad enjoyed having a man around for a change. My mom used to complain that my dad would always be saying "Val this or Val that."

Val loved to give and do things for others that they didn’t know about. He found great amusement and joy in doing that. We often talked about what we would do if we came into a lot of money. Mostly we wanted to help others with it and much of it anonymously if possible. We would have provided for our own needs of course but everything else would have gone to help others.

Val was always giving to others. When we were first married, one of my sisters lived with us when she was pregnant. Val let her live with us and welcomed her with open arms. Years later, a lady and her baby lived with us, then my cousin and finally we had teenage foster girls living with us. Val again welcomed them all with open arms. He never complained but considered it his duty to help others in any way he could.

Val was many many more things and I can’t even begin to list them all. I was and am so honoured to have spent the last 35 years being his wife and partner. His parents gave him his good qualities and God helped later in life to refine them. Some of the most precious characteristics were in the man I knew and loved.

I will forever be grateful for knowing and loving him. He will never be forgotten. He was a great man among men. His legacy will live on in the children that so loved and admired their father. Those same characteristics and qualities will now be passed on to his grandchildren.

If you go to meet Val before I do, please tell him I love and miss him.

Please have a love filled day and look at the little things more closely.