NOT A LOTTA STUFF

Dear Diary,

I haven’t a lot of really interesting stuff to write so I will just write about what has been going on the past few days.

It is Friday and I haven’t done much of anything these past few days. On Wednesday night, at about 6:00, I laid down on the couch and fell asleep for the night. I woke at about 6:00 the next morning. Thursday was a long day. I checked my mail, did a little shopping, came home and did some dishes and then just vegged out watching t.v. and playing on the computer.

Today wasn’t much different. I was playing on the puter and then went for a nap. Just not up to doing too much of anything right now. I guess I am still winding down from all the pre-Christmas work and blessings.

So what did this last year bring me. It was a little rocky there for awhile. Ups and downs and confusion all the time. Then by summer things started to settle down a bit more. Then this fall I started to babysit and everything else seemed to just fall into place. For awhile there I was going to open up a craft shop and then did briefly in my living room. Then I had the idea of moving to the city come spring and now I am back to my old self of just not knowing what will happen next.

I have decided to stay at the beach a bit longer. Will have to wait and see how my finances go this year. I will be off the medical coverage come May so I will have to make sure to put money aside for my medication.

So as I turn this page in my life I wonder what the new year will bring. It is like a nice clean slate all ready to start over again on.

Each year I think I will make new years resolutions and then I make them but don’t keep them so this year I have decided to set some goals for myself instead. I am starting out really simply to begin with. That way maybe I can get some things done. I find coming up with a list is the hardest thing though. What would I like to do with my life and what changes can I make? Hummm!!!

So anyway, one of my goals is to read through "The Message" Bible this year. I began reading the New Testament last year and got up to Hebrews but didn’t get much farther so I want to finish the New Testament and then start on the old Testament as well.
Another goal I would like to set is to join something this year. I am not sure what yet but something where I can meet other people my age and maybe have something in common with.

I would like to have lofty goals like walking a half hour each day but I know I wouldn’t do that so I don’t bother putting them on the list.

Do you have any goals or New Years Resolutions that you plan to do? I can use all the help I can get.

Weather wise, I must say we have had one of the nicest years on record. Hardly any rain this summer and hardly any snow or cold weather this winter so far. I know our turn for some sort of disaster is coming, and I should be getting prepared for it with some sort of emergency response program set in place so I will be ready.

As for the new year, I haven’t even got a calendar of the new year yet. If you have any nice ones you would like to get rid of then please snail mail them to me. Hee hee. Then I will know what day or month it is. Mind you with computers now a days, I can print up my own.

Well I think that is about it for today.

Hope you have a great day and a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

THE BEST GIFT EVER

Just when you think it is all over and done with, what does God do? He blesses and blesses again.

Boxing day and I thought I would be all alone as everyone else would be at the alternate families and have other obligations. But low and behold I had a house full and I felt very blessed.

My father-in-law and his friend dropped in and then my daughter, son-in-law, grandson, granddaughter, and a neighbour lady dropped in. I had a house full and was immensely blessed by all their company. It was so nice to have them all drop in.

Again, it made my day special. It was my home, my Christmas, and my family. I hadn't cleaned from the day before but that didn't matter. It was just a time of enjoying each other's company and sharing the day with loved ones.

Today I have to get busy and do up all the dishes. Then I have to empty the fridge and put all the leftovers in smaller containers and freeze what I can so I have food to eat for the next month.

I can't believe how much food there is left over. I thought everyone would eat a lot more than they did. Then yesterday when I offered leftovers to everyone - they didn't want any. They said they still felt full from the day before.

Anyway for Christmas dinner I made the following feast:

Turkey
Gravy
Mashed Potatoes
Corn
Turkey Dressing
Cole Slaw
Meat Balls
Bar-B-Q pork pieces
Bar-B-Q ham slices
Meat Pie
Cabbage Rolls
Perogies
Pickles
Rolls
Black Forest Bowl for Dessert
To top it all off, we had Spumente La Scala Wine with our meal.

Now I have enough food left over to carry me through the next month or more.

As for some of the gifts I got:

A Pasta maker
A new VCR as my old one doesn't tape anymore.
Money, gift certificate,
Beautiful doiley
mittens,
Cahews, Chocolate covered cherries,
Other odds and ends.

As I said, the gifts weren't the big thing for me this year. It was the family. It is the greatest gift I got this year. The love of family put into my heart. And that was the greatest gift I got and that came directly from Jesus. Thank you Lord.

BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

Dear Diary,

I had the best Christmas EVER. And no it wasn't because of the gifts because they didn't really matter at all to me this year. What really made my day was having my whole family here with me.

It is so strange. God has really done a work in me this year. He has given me such a love for my family that at times it hurts. It hurts in a good sense. It is just so much love coming from within that I just don't feel I can contain it at times. What has caused this.

Part of me feels so guilty because I didn't feel anything like this while my husband was alive. Then Christmas and everything about it seemed a big hassle and not worth all the trouble. But this year it is like, nothing was trouble. It was all a labour of love and I would have liked to do more than I did. I wanted my family to feel extra special this year.

My idiosyncratic mind is trying to figure this out but the regular mind set is just to enjoy it all.

Here it is 2006. I had MY FAMILY in MY HOME for Christmas.

This year has been something of a discovery for me. I find that suddenly this house and everything in it suddenly became MINE. I suddenly felt at HOME for the very first time in a long time. I felt like I belonged and this is MY HOME, and MY FURNITURE, and MY LIKES AND DISLIKES. It is very strange indeed. I guess maybe it is part of the finding of myself and who I am and the realization that I am an individual.

But again I must give credit to God in all of this as it isn't anything that I did or didn't do. It is all God and what he has been doing in me. In me there was no such love or caring. In me it was always a burden and too much trouble. It is so strange how God can change us from the inside out. Praise his Holy Name.

I felt my family deserved a feast this year. Especially my two son-in-laws. One of them I had never had over for a meal at all. Terrible of me - I know - but just never got around to it or never felt able to live up to the mother-in-law ideal. But I broke through the ice and finally made him a meal fit for a king. (Or so I hope they thought so)

My son-in-laws have been so good to me in so many ways. Firstly by making my daughters happy. That makes a mother very happy. Secondly, they have given me the most precious grand sons and they are both doing such a great job raising them. They are both the greatest fathers. I am so proud of them both and so glad that they are a part of my family.

They are both very good hard working men with upstanding family values and love for their families. God has double blessed me with them.

And as for my daughters - well, I knew they were a blessing from the day they were born. I love them both immensely and have been so very proud of them for most of their lives. They have turned into such beautiful women and are the greatest moms. God took the mess I made of raising them and turned it into something beautiful. I am so very proud of them both and all they have accomplished in their lives.

Now as to my grandkids. Well that is a whole other story. I often write about my two grandsons but I have hardly ever written about my granddaughter. She is also very special to me and this last year I feel we have grown much closer. She is my son-in-law's daughter from a previous marriage but is very much a part of my family now. She is in her twenties now, with a boyfriend and a home of her own. She comes to visit quite often and has been here helping her dad with work he does on my house. She is a very good and hard worker.

I am going to include her picture on my side bar so I hope you will all check her out.

Well that is about it for today. Hope you have a great Boxing Day.

THOUGHTS ON CHRISTMAS

Hello Once Again Diary

Do I make this a regular thing or just wing it for now? Humm. I will have to think on that one for awhile.

Yesterday I babysat Alex for about an hour in the morning while Rob Snow Blowed for me. Then in the evening I babysat for about 2 hours while they went to a movie. I hadn’t seen him all week and he had to be in a extra good mood. I love him to pieces. He is so sweet and cute and cuddly now and just makes my day. What a blessing it is to have Grand children.

(Thank you Jesus for giving me such a beautiful gift in my old age.)

Today I have to get busy. Up till this morning everything seemed manageable, but this morning for some reason I am in a bit of a panic. When I think of all I still have to do and the little amount of time, I think, I will never get it done. But then I think "O.K. Girl, take it easy, one thing at a time. So what if the floor isn’t exactly the cleanest, or something isn’t just right. The idea is getting together with people you love and want to spend time with - not a home inspection. So take it easy and enjoy what you are doing." So that is my plan. Enjoy the day and clean as I go.

I wanted to get a new outfit for Christmas, but when you are my size, it is not exactly the easiest thing in the world to do. First of all it is to "get out shopping". Then it is finding something in my size. Then when I try things on, I become so depressed I end up giving up. So most of the time I am defeated before I even try. I can live with getting and wearing hand me downs. What the heck - it is a lot cheaper that way and no depression set on by looking into dressing room mirrors.

Anyway, clothes have never really been my thing. As long as I am covered and comfortable. I do not believe in the old saying that the suit determines the man. I also do not believe in the saying "You get what you pay for". I have found over the years that if you are careful and diligent, you can get a lot more than what you pay for and get good quality to boot. It just takes a little more work sometimes.

I guess I would be what you call a very low maintenance type of woman. Don’t need a lot to keep me happy. Just lots of hugs and affection. I love heart gifts rather than splashy money gifts. Don’t give me a gift if you feel you HAVE to. I would rather not get anything than get a "NEEDED TO GET YOU SOMETHING" gift. My daughter and I were discussing this last night.

She is of the opinion that it has all gotten so commercialized etc. I agree to a point but then I think it is still what each individual makes it. Sure it is Jesus’ birthday and we all know that. (Well some of us more than others) So with that in mind, what would Jesus have us do? Jesus believed in celebrations. The Jewish people had many celebrations. So, what should we as Christians do? Can we enjoy this time of celebration or should we be all somber and Holy?

So what is the intention? We honour Jesus’ birthday. So how can we do that? By honouring our families and enjoying their company. I believe that Jesus would want us to Celebrate Christmas as a time of Families getting together and loving one another. That is the greatest gift we can give him.

If you have Jesus in the right place in your heart, I don’t think that Christmas or any other time of year is going to change what you feel inside and what you believe. So with Jesus in his proper place in your life, the next thing you have to do is make sure you have your family at the right place in your life.

In this fast paced world with so many things to do and places to go and restrictions on time, it is nice to have a time to look forward to each year to just celebrate the family and share with others of the good fortune we have had in the previous year.

My Christmas shopping begins in January. I always have my family on my mind whenever I go shopping or to garage sales or second hand stores. Whatever comes along I think "Humm, maybe my daughter would like that" So I might buy it and put it away till Christmas.

Why put it away you might ask? Why not give it to her right away? Well, I have found out that people like to "give" more than receive (most of the time) So giving gifts for no apparent reason doesn’t seem reasonable to some people. Some people can accept gifts at Christmas but have a hard time accepting gifts at any other time of the year.

But then there is MY joy in giving. I love giving gifts and will give gifts throughout the year as well. I like to listen throughout the year for hints as to what the people I love might be wanting or needing. I like to give gifts that are more of the "want" type than the "Needing" type. You can go out and buy your own needed gift but when can you ever get those gifts you really want but never get around to buy yourself. So to me, Christmas is like icing on the cake. That’s when you get those extra gifts - sometimes unneeded but loved just the same because you know the person was thinking about you and caring.

Anyway, I think I have said enough for today. Have a great day and if I don’t get back to you MERRY CHRISTMAS.

DEAR DIARY

So is blogging supposed to be easy or hard? I ask you? Is there some sort of rhyme or reason to this blog thing? If it is just like writing to a diary, o.k. I think I can do that. If it is to be smart and funny and grammatical and all that hog wash, then I am a no way hosea - kind of person.

So here goes.
(Quick word of warning - My diary entries were always very boring so read if you like or leave - all the same to me.)

Dear Diary.

Yesterday I went to have my regular doctors appointment. Woo Hoo, I lost another 6 pounds. I have been averaging about 2 pounds a month and this has been going on for some time now. I was so excited when I finally went under 200 pounds and now my next goal is 175. It doesn’t seem I have been doing anything out of the ordinary except babysitting so maybe that is what is helping. All the getting up and down and lifting and putting down is burning calories - YIPEEEEE!!!!

While I was in Gimli I decided to stop and have coffee with my daughter. That was enjoyable. Then I did some last minute shopping and came home and unloaded the car.

(Do you know that unloading the car is one of the things I hate doing the most since Val died. I guess I never realized how many loads he had to haul in all the time.)

So now I have all my preparations nearly done. Aren’t I a good girl?

Christmas is just 2 ½ days away. This year has been really special for me. I don’t know why but it is one of the first years I have really looked forward to Christmas. Usually I am a scrooge at Christmas time. Not that I am cheap - as I am exactly the opposite - it is just the whole thing gets me down and depressed usually. I don’t know why. Just never liked it, or birthdays or special family occasions of any kind.

So this year I started at the beginning of November and put up my tree and decorated my house. I really love it all. I am enjoying everything from top to bottom and will not be in a hurry to take it all down. (Maybe it is because I am seeing it all through my grandson’s eye)

I am also having Christmas dinner at my place this year. We haven’t done that in a few years. Usually I don’t look forward to it at all but this year it has been different again for some reason. I am enjoying it and really getting into making a feast for everyone.

I am really sorry I didn’t have this spirit when Val was alive.

I even went so far as to send out a few Christmas cards this year by snail mail. (Couldn’t afford the price of stamps so could only mail a few) Can you believe it? Haven’t done that in many many years.

It seems since the computer came along no one sends out Christmas cards anymore. I think it is a shame really. I can remember my mother and my aunt having competitions as to who got the most Christmas cards in the mail. Back then you could mail a Christmas card for about 1 cent each. My mom had over 100 cards one Christmas.

One thing at our house that I noticed. We were a very poor family and many times had to wait for Christmas or birthdays to get clothing that we needed. We didn’t get a whole lot of presents but we sure appreciated what we did get.

The thing was that mom and dad made Christmas the best part of the year. Mom would decorate the house from top to bottom. Dad would get a real tree and we would all decorate it with mostly home made stuff.

Mom would go all out in cooking and baking. She would make hundreds of goodies for Christmas. Where she got the money to bake all that stuff, I will never know but you can be sure we had tons of stuff to eat and that wasn’t even including the Christmas dinner.

Many times dad would make us our Christmas presents. I remember one year he made us all doll beds and we got little dolls for Christmas. Each crib was hand made with our names on it.

Christmas mornings we would be up about 5:30 in the morning trying to wait for our parents to get up. Then we would go crazy unwrapping presents.

Thanks Mom and Dad for some of the loveliest Christmas’s ever.

Well diary, I guess that is about it for today. Hope you have a great weekend.

WHAT I AM LEARNING

Hello there! And how are you?

It has been awhile since I blogged and I am sorry for that. I hope that as I get more used to Alex and he gets more used to me, that I might get more time on the computer.

As it is, the minute I go near the computer he wants to be on my lap. That isn’t so bad but have you tried to think of something to write when a 14 month old is on your lap, pressing buttons, jabbering away and hitting you in the face every so often. Believe me, the words that come to mind are not to be said or even typed in front of a toddler.

So anyway, I tried a few times to take time to check my email and such on the computer. Low and behold, a little munchkin decides that since Grandma isn’t watching, it is time to try new things out.
He has learned that the door to my craft room (call that Crap Room) doesn’t close all the way. All you have to do it push it open.

Isn’t it funny how children, even at the early age of 14 months, know to be extra quiet when they are NOT supposed to be doing something and they know they are not supposed to be doing it.

Well suddenly it got very quite in the house and for a brief second, I forgot that Alex was even here. Then I remembered and snuck around the corner to see what he was up to. There he stood in the room with a tube of paint in his hand and a grin on his face.

I looked at him with that evil eye of mine (I have been recently trying it out on him) and all he does is grin wider and cuter.

Well I held my ground and I walked him out of there with a stern warning.

So then I go back to what I am doing and for awhile everything seems to be going o.k.
Then that thundering silence creeps in on me again. I creep around the corner and what do I find?

You got it. He’s in there again only this time with a whole package of paint tubes. This time the smile is even wider and cuter.

I convincingly scold him and lead him out of the room giving him this long sermon that I am sure will scar him for life. He carried on playing as though nothing has happened. I continue trying to use the computer.

Now whoever invented the saying that "Silence is Golden" was not a mother of little ones or a grandparent babysitting.

Must have been written by a man but that is a whole other story.

Anyway, back to this story. Suddenly there is silence again. Catching the thief red handed I scared him by very loudly scolding him.

He had the nerve to yell back at me.

Can you imagine that?

14 months to my 55 years....

I could squish him like a bug.....

Doesn’t he relize that?

Or is he just so trusting of me that he knows I would never harm a hair on his head?
Is that how I look to God when I get angry at him?

Does he see a rebellious child that is exploring her world and wanting to learn and see new things? Or does he see me going against him and his personal character? I think because I am his child he knows where it comes from and can handle it. Anyway, that is a whole other lesson.

He yells back and me and I gently tap him on the bum (hard enough to feel it through his diaper, yet not hard enough to hurt. I’ve done worse in love taps.) And the next thing you know there is a major crying session.
Not the kind of crying session like - "you hurt me" but this is one of those deep sobby type sessions like "Grandma is angry with me, she doesn’t like me anymore. I really screwed up this time. She will never love me again."

I gently reassure him for quite some time that he is still loved and that grandma doesn’t like what he did but she still loves him.

So this is what I have been learning through the eyes and mind of my grandson.

Hope you have a blessed day.