BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

Dear Diary,

I had the best Christmas EVER. And no it wasn't because of the gifts because they didn't really matter at all to me this year. What really made my day was having my whole family here with me.

It is so strange. God has really done a work in me this year. He has given me such a love for my family that at times it hurts. It hurts in a good sense. It is just so much love coming from within that I just don't feel I can contain it at times. What has caused this.

Part of me feels so guilty because I didn't feel anything like this while my husband was alive. Then Christmas and everything about it seemed a big hassle and not worth all the trouble. But this year it is like, nothing was trouble. It was all a labour of love and I would have liked to do more than I did. I wanted my family to feel extra special this year.

My idiosyncratic mind is trying to figure this out but the regular mind set is just to enjoy it all.

Here it is 2006. I had MY FAMILY in MY HOME for Christmas.

This year has been something of a discovery for me. I find that suddenly this house and everything in it suddenly became MINE. I suddenly felt at HOME for the very first time in a long time. I felt like I belonged and this is MY HOME, and MY FURNITURE, and MY LIKES AND DISLIKES. It is very strange indeed. I guess maybe it is part of the finding of myself and who I am and the realization that I am an individual.

But again I must give credit to God in all of this as it isn't anything that I did or didn't do. It is all God and what he has been doing in me. In me there was no such love or caring. In me it was always a burden and too much trouble. It is so strange how God can change us from the inside out. Praise his Holy Name.

I felt my family deserved a feast this year. Especially my two son-in-laws. One of them I had never had over for a meal at all. Terrible of me - I know - but just never got around to it or never felt able to live up to the mother-in-law ideal. But I broke through the ice and finally made him a meal fit for a king. (Or so I hope they thought so)

My son-in-laws have been so good to me in so many ways. Firstly by making my daughters happy. That makes a mother very happy. Secondly, they have given me the most precious grand sons and they are both doing such a great job raising them. They are both the greatest fathers. I am so proud of them both and so glad that they are a part of my family.

They are both very good hard working men with upstanding family values and love for their families. God has double blessed me with them.

And as for my daughters - well, I knew they were a blessing from the day they were born. I love them both immensely and have been so very proud of them for most of their lives. They have turned into such beautiful women and are the greatest moms. God took the mess I made of raising them and turned it into something beautiful. I am so very proud of them both and all they have accomplished in their lives.

Now as to my grandkids. Well that is a whole other story. I often write about my two grandsons but I have hardly ever written about my granddaughter. She is also very special to me and this last year I feel we have grown much closer. She is my son-in-law's daughter from a previous marriage but is very much a part of my family now. She is in her twenties now, with a boyfriend and a home of her own. She comes to visit quite often and has been here helping her dad with work he does on my house. She is a very good and hard worker.

I am going to include her picture on my side bar so I hope you will all check her out.

Well that is about it for today. Hope you have a great Boxing Day.