LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE.

Remember that old saying? Well I was a liar from the get go. I can remember being late for school one day. I went all the way to school and saw all the kids sitting in the classroom. Being as shy as I was, I didn't want to go in and have everyone stare at me. So I walked home. When I got there, my mom asked me why I was home again. I told her a whopper of a lie. I said "I met a man on the way to school. He told me that I was sooo late that I should go back home. So here I am." Needless to say I was not a very good liar.

By the time I hit grade four, I must have learned to develop my skill of lying a little better. I had a little girl in my class convinced that I was from a very very poor family. I would tell her that I never got anything good to eat. She felt so sorry for me that she would bring stuff from home for me to eat. I had to hone my skill as she began to desire to bring me healthy snacks. I couldn't have that. I wanted goodies and tasty treats. I remember one time she brought me a box of Jello and I hid behind the school building while I ate it. I am sure my mouth must have given me away to everyone who saw me.

I was also beginning to learn that one lie leads to another and soon you could be in big trouble.

She mentioned that she had told her mom and now, her mom wanted to give our family food. Oh No, I would be found out! What to do? I had to come up with a doozy of a lie this time. How could I get out of this situation and still not be found out to be a liar? I had to really dig deep inside of me for a whopper of a lie to cover my you know what.

I got it! My mom was a very proud woman and would be so crushed if she found out that I had told anyone about our situation. I would be in big trouble and mom would be devastated although I didn't know big words like that back then.

I can't remember how it all ended but I know I never got in trouble about it. Maybe that lie did it for me. I don't really know or remember.
I do know though that somewhere along in my life, I changed. Lies became so repulsive to me.

One lie leads to another lie and then you lie to get out of another situation. It grows and grows and before you know it, you are caught up in a web of lies that seem impossible to get out of. You do end up being caught - one way or another.

So, why do people lie? Why bother? What is the reward at the end of the lie? Is it worth it?

Raising my daughters, I was very adamant about honesty in our family. I would tell my girls that if they told the truth, they wouldn't get into trouble, but, if they lied, and I found out, they would be in twice the trouble they originally would have been in. I wanted to make lying the bad guy and not what they had done or didn't do. I think this worked pretty well.

I can remember my youngest daughter had such a conscience. If she lied to me during the day about something, she just couldn't get to sleep at night until she confessed to me. I valued my daughters honesty. If I thought they might be lying about something I would usually look at them and say "Truth" and they usually would give me the truth. It got to the point that if someone else would say they did something and the girls would tell me they didn't, I would believe the girls as TRUTH had been so ingrained into their characters that I had no reason to doubt them.

Maybe that was naive on my part but I think I raised two of the most honest girls you could possible have.

I guess over my life, I carried so much guilt over all my earlier lies, that I just didn't want my daughters to have to go through that. Guilt can be more powerful that any weapon.

So why do people lie? What constitutes a lie? If someone asks you if you like their dress and you really hate it - should you tell them the truth? Where do we draw the line at lying?

I think children usually lie out of fear. Shouldn't we as parents be relieving their fears rather that adding to them.

O.k. I had no fear when I lied about the food. So what drove me to do such a thing. I can only think it must have been jealousy. Jealous that someone else had something that I didn't. So to cover up one sin, I committed another.

Is that one of the reasons people lie? To cover sin? Murderers, rapists, robbers, etc. lie to cover their sins. They don't want to be found out. But what of the person that lies about things that don't seem to matter. I call them the "one uppers". You know the people. Whatever you did or saw, they did it better or saw something better. Why do these people do this? Does it make them feel superior in some way, or are they really afraid that their lives don't seem to measure up.

What are your thoughts on lying? When is it o.k. to lie? How do you teach your children about lying?